James, everything you have discussed in this podcast about the IRS, I can witness for.
I can’t call myself a beyonder, because I came back.
I don’t know that you’ll ever find a bona fide tax beyonder. There have been people I’ve heard of that have done it, but they stay gone.
Maybe they made their bones, stayed the course, found their way, and had to sign an NDA not to share it with anyone. I don’t know.
The guy that inspired me, who has helped a lot of people with everything from foreclosures to child protective services cases with many successes, lives with his mother.
Now, to the hyena in question…
I stayed off the tax grid for about 5 years. I wouldn’t have lasted that long without Grace, and the help of a wonderful giraffe.
Eventually, I couldn’t ask this wonderful person to help me carry the burden anymore, and I had to return.
I was a wounded hyena stricken with a crisis of conscience. My va jay jay hung by a bloody thread, so I just tore it off with my teeth.
Thank you for introducing me to this metaphor. It fits so perfectly!
I made choices that made no sense. I experienced effects from those choices I could not explain. Weird things I would share with friends, who were knowledgeable in these matters. Things happened that they could not help me explain.
I waited for repercussions, and they never came.
I went completely on instinct. I was completely alone and allowed no other human to guide me. I can’t tell you how I did not end up in some institution. And yet, nobody ever came for me.
The fear? Yes. I looked over my shoulder for almost the full five years. I made up stories for new people I met because I felt I couldn’t trust them: “paranoia strikes deep”.
The shame? Check. I didn’t tell anyone in my family what I did, let alone why I did it. I felt I was protecting them, but the rest of the truth is that I was protecting myself from the judgement of people who love me.
The guilt? Yup. I hurt people. Not many, but a few deeply.
So another six years after my return, I live a much simpler life. I’m leaner, and less mean.
I don’t judge anyone any more for rendering unto Caesar. Least of all me. I found more compassion for myself through this experience than anything I’ve ever gone through in my life. I don’t regret it.
I’ve looked over into the abyss at the edge of the reef and saw myself staring back.
And although I felt lonely, through it all I realize I was never truly alone.
Sophia had my back all along.
Thanks for your patience and allowing me to unpack this here.
Edit: One more thing I realized along the way that you mentioned somewhere: the paperwork is bullshit. I totally agree. It’s written on the heart. You don’t have to get it perfect, you just have to “get it”.
I am afraid of the taxpayers. The ridicule. It’s made me strong. It’s allowed me to see. Why do I want to see more?
It caused me alienation. Even “Truthers” that I used to confide in, we have gone our separate ways.
I see silence when you talk about this. No likes. No comments. BUT I FEEL THE WITNESS. I FEEL THE SILENT SHARPENING OF THEIR SHANKS, as I catch them later, face to face, with a smile asking about my day.
Especially my generation (people in their 20s), I am surrounded by retards that yell at me for standing up for what I BELIEVE IN. I believe it is fraud of me to pay taxes. It’s fraud of me to not repost your meme because I am afraid of the havoc it will cause in my message box. I may not have the posture to debate.
James, everything you have discussed in this podcast about the IRS, I can witness for.
I can’t call myself a beyonder, because I came back.
I don’t know that you’ll ever find a bona fide tax beyonder. There have been people I’ve heard of that have done it, but they stay gone.
Maybe they made their bones, stayed the course, found their way, and had to sign an NDA not to share it with anyone. I don’t know.
The guy that inspired me, who has helped a lot of people with everything from foreclosures to child protective services cases with many successes, lives with his mother.
Now, to the hyena in question…
I stayed off the tax grid for about 5 years. I wouldn’t have lasted that long without Grace, and the help of a wonderful giraffe.
Eventually, I couldn’t ask this wonderful person to help me carry the burden anymore, and I had to return.
I was a wounded hyena stricken with a crisis of conscience. My va jay jay hung by a bloody thread, so I just tore it off with my teeth.
Thank you for introducing me to this metaphor. It fits so perfectly!
I made choices that made no sense. I experienced effects from those choices I could not explain. Weird things I would share with friends, who were knowledgeable in these matters. Things happened that they could not help me explain.
I waited for repercussions, and they never came.
I went completely on instinct. I was completely alone and allowed no other human to guide me. I can’t tell you how I did not end up in some institution. And yet, nobody ever came for me.
The fear? Yes. I looked over my shoulder for almost the full five years. I made up stories for new people I met because I felt I couldn’t trust them: “paranoia strikes deep”.
The shame? Check. I didn’t tell anyone in my family what I did, let alone why I did it. I felt I was protecting them, but the rest of the truth is that I was protecting myself from the judgement of people who love me.
The guilt? Yup. I hurt people. Not many, but a few deeply.
So another six years after my return, I live a much simpler life. I’m leaner, and less mean.
I don’t judge anyone any more for rendering unto Caesar. Least of all me. I found more compassion for myself through this experience than anything I’ve ever gone through in my life. I don’t regret it.
I’ve looked over into the abyss at the edge of the reef and saw myself staring back.
And although I felt lonely, through it all I realize I was never truly alone.
Sophia had my back all along.
Thanks for your patience and allowing me to unpack this here.
Edit: One more thing I realized along the way that you mentioned somewhere: the paperwork is bullshit. I totally agree. It’s written on the heart. You don’t have to get it perfect, you just have to “get it”.
Thank you for sharing this. The IRS is a Hermetic journey up and down again.
I am afraid of the taxpayers. The ridicule. It’s made me strong. It’s allowed me to see. Why do I want to see more?
It caused me alienation. Even “Truthers” that I used to confide in, we have gone our separate ways.
I see silence when you talk about this. No likes. No comments. BUT I FEEL THE WITNESS. I FEEL THE SILENT SHARPENING OF THEIR SHANKS, as I catch them later, face to face, with a smile asking about my day.
Especially my generation (people in their 20s), I am surrounded by retards that yell at me for standing up for what I BELIEVE IN. I believe it is fraud of me to pay taxes. It’s fraud of me to not repost your meme because I am afraid of the havoc it will cause in my message box. I may not have the posture to debate.
Let’s see.